


Things I'd Never Say (At Least Out Loud)

by teaandcardigans



Category: Charmed (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Love Confessions, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaandcardigans/pseuds/teaandcardigans
Summary: Harry has become practiced at covering his feelings around his eldest charge but a slip of the tongue threatens to expose them.
Relationships: Harry Greenwood/Macy Vaughn
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53





	Things I'd Never Say (At Least Out Loud)

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose. He swears that he has managed to read the same paragraph of the ancient tomb in front of him at least a dozen times. His mind is elsewhere, re-thinking and analysing instead of focusing on the task at hand. 

After all his years of being a whitelighter he ought to be better at this. 

Compartmentalisation. 

A skill that he is yet to master. It had been easier in the past, to remain loyal and unwavering to the cause that he had been landed with. Now there were complicating factors that caused his once acute concentration to waver. 

Once he finishes berating himself he starts the paragraph again, his finger tracing along the words as he reads, as if this will somehow magically ingrain the information into his brain. 

He is about half way through before visions pass through his mind again. And not of ancient magic or the best way to combat a Yokai. 

Macy. 

Always Macy these days. Simple things, mundane things that shouldn't made his heart thud in his chest the way it is now. Her smile at breakfast as he gently teases Maggie about the vegan sausages he has prepared. Despite it being the umpteenth time he had done so she still she smiles along while Maggie simply rolls her eyes the joke long past it's expiry date. 

The way she leaned over to him this morning as they walked to campus, his breath hitching in his throat as she came impossibly close, close enough that her breath fanned across his cheek and he dared to hope for something more. Her fingers nimbly tightening his tie, while he awkwardly stopped and willed the blush creeping up his cheek to escape her notice. 

He mumbled a thanks, rushing his hand through his hair to straighten it while she patted the fabric down so it was laying just so. She had shrugged her shoulders, her smile bright as she told him it was no problem. He resisted the temptation to link his arm with hers, as they continued their walk. Sneaking glances instead to remind himself of just how perfect she was. 

He let out a groan of frustration as he almost predictably lost his place in the text again. Closing the book on his lap in defeat as he closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift away, swearing it will only be a moment. Then he will be able to focus. He will be better. 

There was darkness for a while, before images flooded in again. 

Macy

Macy 

Macy

He was a grown man, not a silly school boy obsessing over a crush. He should know better. And yet when he was around Macy he lost all sense of who he was. These wants and desires clouded his judgement, allowed him to dream of a world where he was more than a foot soldier of the elders. 

The sound of a tray hitting the coffee table enters his thoughts. The rattle of cups against one another, two cups of course. He has wondered whether this is her way of checking up on him when he closes himself off in the attic. 

A cup of tea and a kind smile. Gentle reassurance that she is still there. 

Macy’s hand resting gently on his shoulder brings him briefly back to the present. He feels the shifting of the cushions of the couch as she takes a seat next to him. And it is right next to him. 

While he takes care to maintain a proper distance between them, partially out of politeness but also out of fear of temptation. She seems to be oblivious to the anguish it causes him. 

"Tea?" she asks, probably already knowing his answer, as if he could refuse anything from her. He opens his eyes to see her already pouring the steaming liquid into his cup. And he knows this will be another of those moments he plays over and over again in his own mind. 

"Thank you, love." 

His mouth snaps shut, too late as the words have already tumbled free from his mouth. She pauses her actions her eyes staring back at him as all hope that she might have misheard him evaporating completely. 

She almost drops the teapot, as the cup threatens to overflow. A sharp clash as the teapot returns to the tray. Her eyes remain trained on the two cups in front of her while a silence fills the attic, almost suffocating

'Love'. 

That's what he calls her in his dreams, those imaginings that fill his mind as he lays on the makeshift bed in the attic, wondering whether she would ever think of him as anything more than a friend.

"I- I'm sorry," he manages to stutter out, the words getting stuck in his throat, unwilling to come out. He doesn't want to take them back, not really. He wants to be able to call her Love until the day when he leaves this plane of existence. Wants to whisper it to her as he wakes up to her, to murmur it in her hair as they sit in front of the open fire. 

Her eyes look up to meet him and he wishes he has never been more envious of Maggie's gift to be able to see the inner thoughts of others. The best he can hope for is that she will laugh it off, playfully tease him, pretend it never happened.

"Harry," she says his name so softly, that he prepares himself for what's to come. He is ready to apologise for the slip, to beg forgiveness. Hope that he can rebuild their friendship.

“Say it again,” she requests her hand reaching out for him.

He searches her eyes and she gives him a small smile, a weight lifting from him. His hand moves to cup her cheek, her skin warm and flushed as she leans into his touch.

He says it again, barely more than a whisper, “Love.”

  
  



End file.
